Overcoming Obstacles

Tomorrow, Chris, Sarah Willey, Ed and I will be testing for our belts in Hapkido. Chris and I are both testing for our double greens, Ed for his first green, and Willey for her yellow. While the test itself isn't very challenging (it's review on everything that we've learned thus far), the whole atmosphere of the do-jang can be daunting. Our usually chipper Master Sim becomes serious and solemn. There isn't the usual hip-hop music playing in the background. In it's place is an austere silence. Our Master sets up a single table and chair and calls us up one-by-one. We have been practicing these moves and kicks for weeks, but for some reason whenever I get called up there, my legs start to shake and I second guess myself. I'm in a room among friends, but for those few minutes, I don't sense anyone else in the room. It's definitely a physical test, but it has proven to be mentally and emotionally challenging as well.

The last time I really pushed myself physically, emotionally, and mentally was the Kilimanjaro summit. Believe me when I say that it was simultaneously one of the best AND worst days of my life. Running on no sleep, in the pitch black of night while suffering from altitude sickness will test every possible emotion imaginable. Your body is pushed to its max, your legs are weak, your etremities are frozen, and your head is spinning. For me, my stomach couldn't handle having anything in it, and I quickly lost any food that I had ingested before we left basecamp. I learned that I couldn't handle liquids either. Immediately after I would take a sip I would become sick and wouldn't feel better until the water "resurfaced". For the rest of the climb I pretended to drink from my water bottle.

It felt like we were on that mountain forever. It was a climb of faith because you can't see the summit the entire time that you're climbing. Very few things went through my head. All I knew was that I needed to make it to the top. I WOULD make it to the top. How did I do it, you ask? I'm not proud, but I will confess the thoughts that provided the endurance I needed to continue on.

-FIRST- "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength". I repeated this phrase the whole way to the top. I kid you not. I prayed continually and whenever I felt weak I called on him to give me the strength I needed.

-SECOND- This trip cost WAY too much for me NOT to summit. How was I supposed to return home and tell my parents that I didn't summit. Their hard-earned money bought me a hike up part of Kili and I'll be paying off loans for half of a vacation. No thanks.

-THIRD- IN YOUR FACE EX-BOYFRIENDS!

-And LAST- It's a story. It's an adventure. It's something that not many people have the opportunity to do and this is most likely the only time that I'll have the opportunity. So, suck it up. Take it a step at a time (and boy I did).

To continue on this bout of honesty, I'd be lying if I said that upon arrival to the summit I immediately felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. That wasn't the case. I made it, touched the sign, took a picture, and then before I knew it, someone had thrown my backpack on me, shoved an apple in my mouth, and pointed me down the mountain. It wasn't until a couple days later that I could fully process all that I had accomplished.

What I'm really trying to say is that in all facets of life our endurance will be tested. I've learned that in order for me to overcome these tests I need to call on God and take them a step at a time.
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. -Helen Keller